Montgomery Ward – The Wish Book

By Bennett Owen

Photo courtesy of eBay.com

"When you live 90 miles from town a Montgomery Ward or Sears catalog gets read more than the Bible or Shakespeare...

…We had been getting the Montgomery Ward catalog since 1885. It is impossible to exaggerate the importance of the part played by this book of wonder in the children's lives. They pored over it endlessly; before they could read, the pictures were there to dazzle them...the catalog is well named the "wish book" by country people...They (the children) never went to school until we moved to Miles City (Montana) ...all they knew up to that time was reading as taught by Montgomery Ward, and printing block letters, which I taught them.”

From the Diary of Nannie T. Alderson        

Photo courtesy of eBay.com 

In its day it was a revolution every bit as momentous as the Internet…a link between civilization and the outer fringes of the American Frontier. Aaron Montgomery Ward was a traveling salesman who saw the need to cater to a vast, untapped reserve of rural consumers. In 1872 he released his first ‘catalog’, a single page listing fewer than 100 items. A decade later it had grown to well over 200 pages with 10-thousand products including:

• Opium (yes, opium!)
• Ear Trumpets
• ‘Sweet Spirits of Nitre’ * (Oh my God, pay attention to the asterisk!)
• Bust Cream
• Violins
• Winchesters

Photo courtesy of eBay.com

Photo courtesy of eBay.com 

No, we’re not going to list all 10-thousand items, so consider these your Montgomery Cliffs Notes.

“Our mail order methods meet many wants,” wrote an enthusiastic copywriter in 1885.  And one of those was entertainment while using the outdoor plumbing. When I was a kid there was a stack of ‘em in every outhouse at the ranch and, yes, the women’s lingerie section got pretty dog-eared in those days.

Image courtesy of Etsy.com

Montgomery Ward also came up with the slogan “satisfaction guaranteed or your money back,” and it also launched the concept of “rural free delivery”…aka RFD for all you Mayberry fans.

Photo courtesy of eBay.com

This brings me to another edition of Luddites R Us, where my perfect track record of predictions remains unbroken:

• E Books have no future
• No one will buy stuff on the Internet
• 24-hour television news channel? Ridiculous!

So how would I have felt a mere 130 years ago if someone had an idea that a customer in the wilds of Wyoming, 90 miles from the nearest post office could place an order for a chuck wagon and that order would somehow make its way to Chicago, Illinois and that chuck wagon would somehow be delivered to their outfit? Preposterous!

* Check the comments at  http://www.finishing.com/324/13.shtml and bring a Kleenex because you will laugh yourself silly.

Find this commodious book here.

Soon to be A Major Motion Picture – The Most Elusive Outlaw in the West

By Bennett Owen

His mother’s name was April. His father’s name was trouble.  Their only son would earn his disgraceful place in history as a vicious road agent who took what he wanted and suffered no Fools gladly. His blood-filled crime spree struck fear into the hearts of even the most hardened cowboys of the Day:

We can only be thankful that the sterling character of the true pioneers won through and that the enduring and ennobling legacy of the west lives on to this day in the spirit of brave and sturdy men who saddle up and ride off onto the lonely prairie…in search of cats.

EQUINE EVIL – PART THREE – VINDICATION

by Bennett Owen

Photo courtesy of www.horseforum.com

Some might venture that my strange and seething obsession with Nicky the Shetland pony is rooted in some kind of deep-seated emotional pain.  But there’s nothing deep-seated about being bit, bucked, stomped, rolled on and otherwise humiliated by a cute and cuddly 300 lb. bundle of joy. 

Photo courtesy of Duncan Brown (Cradlehall)

My original screed (see first and second story about Nicky) evoked an outcry of indignation as readers and relatives came to the defense of these creatures…headstrong maybe. Aggressive, perhaps. Lots of personality. Well I’m here to testify that Shetland ponies DO have a lot of personality and most of it’s bad. This is the video to prove it, with a very large hat tip to Brett Maverick in Billings:

This is one tough kid and as Brett says, “This is why Shetland ponies are worthless.”

Photo courtesy of Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Photo courtesy of Simply Marvelous

Photo courtesy of RobertMileham.com

A Texas Legend

by Bennett Owen

Everything’s big in Texas and their heroes seem larger than life as well, spanning the gamut from Davy Crockett to Lance Armstrong. And now a Hollywood legend ranks among them as well…the mighty…the immortal…Robert Duvall.

Dave Rossman /For the Chronicle: Bob Schieffer and Robert Duvall with Lester and Sue Smith, chairs of "An Evening with Legend Robert Duvall and a Tribute to the Texas Epic Lonesome Dove"

He was the guest of honor Thursday evening (Feb. 23) as a part of the annual fundraising dinner to benefit the Texas Children’s Cancer Center in Houston.

Duvall is a native Californian but considers himself an honorary Texan based on his love of Tex Mex cooking.  But Texans revere him for his portrayal of crusty Texas Ranger Augustus McCrae in the western epic, Lonesome Dove.  Austin native, and CBS News personality Bob Schiefer interviewed Duvall, whose money quote for the evening was…”Let the English play Hamlet. I’ll play Augustus McCrae.”

Here’s a compilation of past honorees in the Texas Legends event…

More than 800 people attended this year…tables were going for up to $75,000 and the dress code was “Cowboy Chic”.  The fund raising drive netted nearly $9 million for the Children’s Cancer Center. 

This also allows me the opportunity to show my favorite scene from Lonesome Dove…the smirk of satisfaction on Duvall’s face at 1:38 is positively priceless.



The Code of the West

by Bennett Owen

This is a code you don’t need a Rosetta stone to crack. It’s as plain and simple as the 10 Commandments, never codified, always unspoken and yet chiseled into the granite character of all those who dared venture into the untamed west:

... Ride for the brand

... Talk less, say more

... Always finish what you start

... Live each day with courage

... Remember that some things aren’t for sale

And five others that, taken together, form a foundation for a well-lived life.  Last year, Wyoming made the Code of the West part of its official state ethos.  Now, Montana’s legislature is following suit.  See a written report and video, courtesy of KTVQ in Billings here.

The move is not without controversy though. Read the Chicago Tribune article here: 

Fox News has picked up on the story as well:

The Code of the West movement was sparked by former Wall Street maven James P. Owen (no relation…at least not that we know of…). For the past six years he’s been touting it as a way to imbue ethics into troubled high school students.  And his volunteer work appears to be bearing fruit.  Check out his website: Cowboyethics.org.

Of course the Code of the West is not to be confused with Cowboy Wit and Wisdom, such as:

• There are two ways of arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Which is what we will do now.